MARLA

"Marla, the big tourist. Her lie reflected my lie. And suddenly, I felt nothing. I couldn’t cry. So once again, I couldn’t sleep."
“With insomnia, nothing’s real. Everything’s far away. Everything’s a copy of a copy of a copy.”
THE INSOMNIA-ISSUE. 

my connexion to this" picture of misery":

My stance on my physical/emotional "BE-ing" in this current season is so ________(blank?). It's unfair, that human-beings cannot enter hibernation, when the time feels so ripe for deservin' a 3month-enduring sleep. so bored(!), negative towards life, even though I know I'm blessed; this very dark state of mind is attended by the awkward emotion: constantly feeling guilty for not appearing grateful enough. winter-season is rockin' me to sleep, and I'd love to cooperate, but I gotta look alive and pretend to be on the counterculture, celebrating, having frost-protection and enjoying snow-glam. ughh, DRAGON DAYS!! in desperate need for a elucidative vision-delivery and most noteably a vitalization-injection! Please END THIS DROWNING...I know there are people w/bigger existential issues and they are for sure more "in need" than I am.

... Man, I already feel like an ungratefull asshole, and I will(!) try hard to exit this fuckedup neurotic-place I'm in.

I'M GUILTY and I'M SORRY.